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When it finally feels real... and a Comp

Tawny Weber's picture
Submitted by Tawny Weber on Mon, 2007-04-02 06:34.

Did you ever want something REALLY bad? Something you'd focused on and worked hard to achieve? Then... you achieve it and there is this surreal feeling of "huh... am I really there?" Especially when there are so many people who've already achieved it and totally rock.

An example is the women here on the blog. These are ladies whose books I've read, loved, lost myself in. When I was invited to join the blog, I giggled. It was an honor, and a total trip to join Sam, Karen, Jamie and Sarah. I'll admit, a part of me did a little tut-tutting in the back of my head. I'd sold, sure, but it didn't feel real. I've held THEIR books in my hands. THEY are real authors. THEY have fans (me for instance, raising my hand). I didn't feel like I really fit, although I was willing to fake it *g*

Then - last week it felt real. I walked out the front door and found a box from Harlequin. My books. MY BOOKS!!!! OMG - Double Dare, as a book. Not a manuscript, not words on the monitor, A BOOK!!!

Double Dare is a real bookDouble Dare is a real book

I'm giddy... I'm overjoyed. I'm a goofball *g*

To celebrate my giddy joy, I'm holding a little contest here. I'll send an autographed copy of Double Dare and chocolates, as well as a beautiful hand-beaded bracelet to one of the people who post here by Saturday. Don't forget, you have to be a registered user to win!

What to post? A dream YOU had come true... how'd it feel? It could be holding your child for the first time, it could be graduating college. Care to share something that you wanted so bad, worked so hard for - then actually achieved... and how it felt?

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WOW moment

Submitted by Debbie on Mon, 2007-04-02 14:07.
First things first! Congratulations! I am doing my little happy jig for you! What a glorious moment in your life. I was a very ill child and still have those times now. However, it took the doctors 9 years to diagnose that I had endometriosis. So, they told me after my 3rd surgery by 20 I would NEVER have kids. Of course, that made me want them so badly I could hardly stand it. The upside was at that age in a LTR--no condom! As the years passed I still longed for that child, got married and wanted to try everything to have a baby! Well, we had a test of the fallopian tubes and they were blocked. Somehow, Somewhere, they dye they used must have made a little opening....miracously less than 6 months later and with no further surgeries or "help"---I was expecting. Fast Forward---9 months....my little babe is in distress, emergency C-section. The epidural misses, misses again, finally we are on our way.....Ow! Stop pulling me apart...oops! we need more medicine. The moment of truth, "It's a girl!"....I say, "where's the other one?"...."Only one" Then, they bring her up to the head of the table for me to see. I melted. I swear at that moment I melted. Tyler was the greatest gift God ever graced me with. Then a mere 16 months later he gave me a second gift--Joseph--before my disease reared it's ugly head again and I had to have a hysterectomy. Since that day, I like all moms have had tears of joy, sorrow, anger, frustration and doubt. But there are tons of words but no coherent way to striing them all together to explain the ultimate joy I have received from finally becoming a mom. Debbie
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True Blessings

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:49.

Oh Debbie, what a beautiful gift you've received! I'm so happy for you! I have a rough time with pregnancies myself, hence 11 years between my daughters. Every baby is a beautiful miracle, but there is something extra special about the ones we didn't think we'd ever be blessed with, huh?

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Thank you

Submitted by Debbie on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:53.
You are so right about the special blessings. I was seeing how a couple of you would like to adopt one day, and as an adopted child I say--please do! Having my parents is a dream I had no idea I had or needed. Since, I was so young when I was placed in foster care. I have always been grateful for them but after I turned 25 and my birth mom came looking for me, I knew that the good Lord had the dream for me and I am grateful every single day that it was fulfilled. Have a super day! Debbie
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tut-tut back to you, Miss Tawny

Submitted by Samantha Hunter on Mon, 2007-04-02 16:02.

For not feeling like a "real" author -- of course you are! Though I understand your being thrilled, and yeah, it's a reaffirmation each time we get to hold one of those books in our hands for real. I'm so happy for you! And we were equally excited when you agreed to come blog with us!

I've been lucky enough to have several dream come true moments -- each book represents one, but I think my marriage and my home are two of the things where I look around every now and then and have to pinch myself that I have these wonderful things, my husband, family, the people in my life. I'm so happy to be married to this wonderful man, and sometimes I look at him and yeah, it's a "wow" moment.

Same with my house -- while I grew up in a nice home, as an adult finances were always a struggle, and I lived in apartments, and never imagined living in this lovely house. I love all the little details of it, and while material things only have a limited importance in life, it's all very important to me, every flower in the garden, the baby magnolia tree that I always wanted to have outside my kitchen window, the beautiful dining room set where we've had a lot of great dinners and fun (when for so many years we didn't even have a dining room). Every color we choose and project we work on together represents more than just a thing.

Now there are the dreams in progress... perhaps adopting a child, we're still thinking around that, and writing my dream book -- each book is a dream book in itself, but there are bigger places I want to go story-wise, and I hope to get there someday, hopefully not too far off in the distant future...

Sam

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Dream houses

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:44.

Sam, your house sounds glorious! I love gardens - mine is starting to bloom now, but yours sounds just over the top lovely. We've always wanted a formal dining room, too! My husband and I joke that half of keeping our marriage alive is the work we put in together remodelling our house. Its always one project or another, always so much fun to talk about, then work for... then SEE the results of our wishes.

Good hubbies rock, eh?

Woot on the book dream and on adoption!!! Fingers crossed for you on both, that they be exactly what you wish for.

and thanks again :-)

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Sam, your home sounds

Submitted by Beth on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:54.
Sam, your home sounds lovely! Ours is still a work in progress but each year it gets closer and closer to being just as we want it. Best of luck to you in achieving your dreams! I too would love to adopt a child -- it's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl :-)
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Congratulations

Submitted by Trybble (aka Wayne) (not verified) on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:26.
Hi Tawny: I remember my wife practically mugging the FedEx guy when he dropped off a copy of my first book. She did the same thing to hers. I'd hate to admit how many bookstores we stopped at just to see the book sitting on the shelf. Jill would always rearrange the books so that ours were facing out and the kids learned what our books looked like would go around shouting Daddy's book, Mommy's book. What can you expect from a couple of preschoolers? About a year ago, I helped another author out by finishing a book he started. After I got the check, I forgot about it and didn't even know its status until I got an email from an editor last week asking me to review some galleys . Take the time to enjoy the moment. Celebrate. And then get back to work as you'll soon finds tons of people asking you for another. Take care.............Wayne
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Way to train those kids!

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:42.

Start them young and get them yelling for readers! I wonder if I can get mine to do that?

I'm definitely enjoying and celebrating *g* In between pinching myself, I'm working hard :-)

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Bookshelves

Submitted by Karen Foley on Tue, 2007-04-03 13:03.
Your post made me laugh, Wayne, as I'm apt to rearrange the bookshelves in our local bookstore (and at the supermarket) to more prominently display the latest Blaze releases!
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You are a goofball ;-)

Submitted by Beth on Mon, 2007-04-02 18:50.
But that's why I adore you! So happy for you and congrats on the realization of one of your dreams! It's only the beginning. I've had so many dreams come true that I didn't really have to work for -- finding my wonderful husband (pure, dumb luck) and having my kids (okay, so labor wasn't exactly a picnic but so worth it). We've worked especially hard to have a nice home but again it's been worth every penny and each hour spent laying floors or painting walls :-) Two BIG dreams I have are to be published and to adopt a child (or two). I hope to be able to say I've made both of my dreams come true very soon!
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Sniff

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 20:00.

I'm ignoring the goofball comment.

and I'm so happy your dreams are coming true!!! Especially the published one since I KNOW Thats just around the corner.

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From someone who drooled over *you* ;-)

Submitted by Melissa on Mon, 2007-04-02 19:03.
Hi Tawny! That's an easy one because one of my huge dreams came true last weekend--I finaled in the Golden Heart!!! And it feels just like you described, like I don't really belong in a group of such talented people, 90% of whom are already agented and whose names I recognize from a million other contests. Yet here I am, and it rocks! I only entered the GH one other time, but I've been watching the results since 2004, seeing your name come up in my category every single year. I remember thinking, "When somebody finally publishes her, I'm going to make it." LOL!! And what do you know--I got the call (well, the Second Best Call) the same year you weren't eligible to enter anymore. So thanks!! LOL ;-) Congrats and I can't wait to read your book!
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Handing off my gold heart

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Mon, 2007-04-02 20:13.

LOL Melissa! Your post made me tear up (I'm a wienie, I admit it). Its wild to be on the flipside, let me tell ya!

A HUGE whohooooo and congratulations on your Golden Heart final!!! I love your title *g* and am thrilled to hand over my GH seat... I should warn you, though - its comfy but I never managed to win LOLOLOL.

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My dream(s)

Submitted by goddessani on Mon, 2007-04-02 20:01.
When I was 18, I was brutally raped. I was all ripped up inside and scarred badly. Six weeks after my rape I found out I was pregnant. A few hours later, I miscarried and tore open some not quite healed areas. I was told I'd never be able to have children. Since I was so young, the thought of not having kids didn't bother me. In fact, the thought of never having sex didn't bother me. Fast forward a few years and the dream of having a baby became more prevalent. As a child of adoption, I knew that was a possibility but I wanted my "own" child. Someone that came from me. For almost 10 years I never used birth control because my odds of getting pregnant were that slim. Then, it happened! I got pregnant with my oldest (eldest? Would someone help me with that) son. Lots of bed rest, lots of breakthrough bleeding. But he was born one day before his due date. His name is Nicholas (victory of the people) Michael (miracle). And he was and is. A few years later, I met my husband, who accepted both of us into his neat, organized life. We didn't really try or not try but I got pregnant 3 more times and lost every one of those precious babies. I was now 35 and we both decided it wasn't what fate had decreed. We were happy, the three of us. But, wait, what is that sound at the door? Opportunity? Yes, I was pregnant again. Lots of bed rest but no bleeding this time. Just after I turned 36 I had The Child (I don't use his name since he's under 18)! My children are my dreams come true. ani
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Aw ani,

Submitted by Samantha Hunter on Mon, 2007-04-02 20:25.

You know, I knew, since we've been friends for a bit, but it kills me to think of what you went through, and I'm so thankful that you've had such good things happen as the years went on. You deserve them, and talk about a strong spirit.

I've had two miscarriages as well, and it was so hard, especially since I would like nothing better than for Mike and I to have our own, but at 43, we're not risking it, hence the idea of adoption -- we both like the idea of giving a child a home as much as having one, and it would just be too hard to lose another one, for both of us. You're story is very inspiring in that a lot of good can follow even after a lot of bad has happened -- never losing hope.

I'm just so glad things have worked out in the long run. What a victory.

hugs,
Sam

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Adoption

Submitted by goddessani on Mon, 2007-04-02 23:34.
Well, people who adopt children are and always will be my heroes! I was lucky in that I was adopted by my bio-mother's brother (so my uncle became my father). I know part of my family history. (My bio parents died in a car accident when I was about 3 months old). My husband was also adopted by his stepdad. It's not the same as adopting a child you know nothing about but adoption is obviously a subject dear to our hearts. In fact, just before I became pregnant with The Child, we had started looking into adoption. I wish you and Mike the very best. You so totally deserve it! ani
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You're amazing

Submitted by Sarah Mayberry on Tue, 2007-04-03 02:06.

Thanks for sharing, Ani. You have been through so much, and are still a smart,well adjusted, funny, generous person. Stories like yours make me believe in the triumph of the human spirit. They also make me remember that I am 37 this year. Tick tick. I love my nephews and niece so much...but we have such a crazy nomadic, selfish life. My hat off to everyone who has ever become a parent - and to all you ladies who had to go the extra mile and suffer so much pain to get your little ones.

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Such a strong woman

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:58.

Ani, you've been through such a horrific time, I'm blown away at your strength and grace. I am so glad you were blessed with two wonderful children.

Your pride, especialy in your eldest/oldest (no, I don't know the difference) is so clear!

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Congratulations!

Submitted by cherierj on Mon, 2007-04-02 20:09.
How exciting to actually hold a book you wrote in your hands! My big accomplishment was having my baby girl who is going to be six months old in less than 2 weeks. We already had a boy and I was creeping closer and closer to 40. In fact I will be 40 this year now and I did not want to have any more babies after 40. I had always wanted a little girl ever since I could remember to buy pretty, frilly dresses for and lots of Barbie dolls and all that girly stuff. My pregnancy's were difficult so I knew I only had a limitted opportunity. Hubby and I tried reading everything we could think of to try and help influence the sex of the baby, even some of the old wives tales. Then we just prayed about it and left the rest up to God. I can't begin to describe the joy I felt when we saw the ultrasound and the tech pointed out that it was definitely a girl.
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Baby thrills

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:55.

Oooooh, the frilly dresses! I adore baby clothes, girl clothes most of all. I'm so happy your girl baby dream came true!! I know how rough it is with bad pregnancies - I spent my last one on bedrest for 3 months, and she was still almost two months premature.

Now... do tell me some of those things you did to influence the sex of the bay *g* I didn't know that was possible ;-)

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Yay for you, Tawny

Submitted by Sarah Mayberry on Tue, 2007-04-03 02:03.

I am an utter book delivery slut. I love it. I purr for hours as I caress my books. I gave a copy of my first one to almost anyone who even knew my name. It's the best feeling - revel in it, baby. Seeing my name on the spine a book was a dream of mine from a young age, and it never wears off. Another dream was seeing my book on the shelf at the library. Well, it just so happens I was cruising the shelves at the Auckland City Library the other day, and I nearly fell over when I saw a copy of my first book, Can't Get Enough, there! Totally unexpected, and also lovely. Can't wait to read your book, Tawny.

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Library Diva

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:51.

LOL on the book delivery slut angle, Sarah! I can see this getting addicting.

and OMG how fabulous to find your book in the library! What a rush that had to be. How fabulous -- now tell the truth... did you run out to other libraries to see if they had it too? Do a library database search? Huh huh? I would have *ggg*

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Woo Hoo Tawny

Submitted by Mads on Tue, 2007-04-03 05:51.
Tawny, I'm so happy for you. I'm going to buy your book just as soon as I can. I can't wait to read it. As for my dream come true, It's not as good as all the other ladies but, it was very exciting for me. In high school, I always tried out for the musicals. I always got to sing in the chorus but, I really wanted a part in one of the plays. My last year in school, I tried out for a part in a play that was open to students in all the surrounding schools. My family had never heard me sing and I really wanted to get a solo so bad so that they could be proud of me. I lived in my older sisters shadow for years. She was always known as the good singer in the family. I never sang at home because, I just couldn't live up to my sisters voice. The play was West Side Story and I was really scared during tryouts. This was my last chance to show that I had a good voice too. I got my solo. The song was Somewhere and it was the most beautiful song in the play. Closing night, there was standing room only and my entire family was sitting in the front row. I was very nervous but, when I began to sing my solo, I looked at my family and saw my parents crying and smiling at the same time. They finally got to hear me sing. My dream came true. I got my solo and my family finally got to hear me sing. The best was yet to come although I didn't know it at the time. The conductor was also a conductor at The Valley Forge Music Fair. This was a place where big name singers performed. When the play ended, he asked me if I'd like to be a backup singer for some of the stars who performed there. I was speachless but I agreed to try it out. It was a lot of hard work but now nobody in my family ever says that I can't sing. My dream came true that day and I'll never forget it. To all the ladies on this blog who are adopted, have adopted or are thinking of adopting. I have a very large family. 2 brothers and 3 sisters. My 2 brothers are adopted and 1 of my sisters is adopted. My hat is off to all of you. Adopted kids are some of the best people in the world. Believe me I know. All the best to all of you. Hugs, Mads:)
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The sound of music

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:49.

Mads -what a great dream come true. Especially seeing your parents there, sharing the dream with them. And OMG whoohooo on the conductor's request. That had to be like extra whipped cream on top of an already incredible experience.

I can't sing to save my life, and admire so much people who can :-)

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The Real Deal

Submitted by Karen Foley on Tue, 2007-04-03 12:58.
Tawny, Your post gave me chills...having just recently sold my first book to Harlequin Blaze, I'm totally there with you, babe! My daughter and I were walking through our local supermarket and saw an end-display of books featuring the April releases for Blaze. We both clutched each other and she said, "Mum, in October, that'll be YOUR book on that display!!" I think that's when it really hit me, that I'd SOLD. That my dream was coming true. Sometimes it feels real, at other times I still need to pinch myself. Right now, it's a constant undercurrent in my life. I sold...I sold...I sold. But to see your book in print for the very first time...what a thrill that must be!! Enjoy the ride, Tawny! I can't wait to see YOUR book on that end display next month! Congratulations, and many, many more!!!!
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YAY Karen!!!

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:46.

It is a wonderful ride- I'm so thrilled you are taking it too. I hope you're at the RWA conference in July - I'd love to congratulate you in person.

and omg whohooo, isn't it cool to see Blazes everywhere? I don't think I even realized they were at my grocery store until I sold. Now I fondle them on my way to the produce section .

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Congratulations!

Submitted by Charlene Teglia on Tue, 2007-04-03 13:09.
What a thrill. : ) My dream come true has happened a couple of times in recent years. Selling to EC. Seeing my first book in print in a store. Winning a major award. Becoming a St. Martin's author. Getting up in the morning and knowing I have the life I wanted: professional writer, working from home around kids. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's real. Honestly I don't spend a lot of time feeling giddy about it, more often I feel like I'd better keep working! But it is a giddy-happy feeling.
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Professional Writer title

Submitted by Tawny Weber on Tue, 2007-04-03 19:45.

Isn't it great!? Congrats to you, too, Charlene ;-) I love everything about it, even the crazy deadline induced caffiene overload LOL.

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Happy for you!

Submitted by tetewa on Wed, 2007-04-04 18:39.
Congrats on the release and hoping you have many more in the future!
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A dream

Submitted by Joy on Thu, 2007-04-05 00:59.
I had a dream that a guy I had noticed and had special feelings for finally noticed me. And one day he started talking to me and we became very good friends.
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