Image
Do you ever look in the mirror and go OMG who IS that? Or when someone makes a comment about your appearance, you are baffled and wondering who on earth they are talking about?
I do! The other day someone mentioned how surprising it was to talk to me since I looked so conservative (apparently I don't sound that way LOL) and I did the jaw-drop thing. Me? Conservative?
So it got me thinking...
How many of us see ourselves in a certain way? Oh, maybe 10 lbs lighter, a little crazier, better put together - anything like that? But its not quite how we look to others?
My September Blaze, RISQUE BUSINESS, has a heroine who is all about the smarts. She's brainy and clever and figures thats enough. Until it isn't and she has to take a good look at herself. Wow is she surprised. When did she get so frumpy and is a pencil for a hair clip REALLY that bad a thing? She realizes it is and goes for a complete makeover... hair to shoes.
Would you do a makeover if you realized your outward persona didn't quite match your internal vision of yourself? What if that makeover required major sacrifices on your part? Like, oh, maybe giving up chocolate until the weight was off (I am so struggling with this one) or in my heroine, Delaney's case, acting vampy and confident in the face of a major sexual challenge.
Oh, Tawny....
I so know what you are talking about with this!! When I think of myself, my heart always sees a slender girl with long hair. But sometimes, when I catch sight of myself in a store window or see a photo of myself, I'm shocked. SHOCKED! How did I end up looking like this...a plump, round-cheeked, middle-aged woman?? I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER! Which, you know, isn't a bad thing since my mom's pretty cool, but still...
So yes. I would sacrifice. I would scrimp. I would take a risk and try something new and different, if it meant I could bring my physical self more into line with my mental self. Fun topic, BTW, and I can't wait to read Risque Business!
Oh, I wanted to add that with me, I've had people read my books and then whisper to each other, "I'm so surprised; she looks so sweet!" That always makes me laugh.
"She looks so sweet"
ROFL Karen, I never get THAT comment, but I totally know what you mean! Its wild how our perception of ourselves is so different than how others see us. I hear you, too, on the becoming our mother. Actually, I'd love to become my mother -she's tiny! Short, curvy and beautiful. I'm like an awkward elephant next to her LOL.
Thanks for the sweet words on Risque Business -I'm chomping at the bit to read Overnight Sensation, too!
and while I wait, I'm going to work on that scrimping, saving and revising thing so I do look like the me I think I am LOL.
Hit the nail on the head
I work with a woman and while we are similarly sized, we look nothing alike. And, shallow as this is of me to admit, I always liked the fact that I look better than she does...except the other day I caught sight of myself unexpectedly and I didn't recognize myself. Who is that woman and why is she wearing my same outfit?
And then it dawned on me that the woman I work with may think she looks better than I do. What an eye opener that was!
As far as what it would take to make myself over in the image I see of myself, I don't know. I've been struggling with my weight for years but I don't/won't give up chocolate. I'll cut down but I won't give it up. And maybe that is the one ingredient that would make all the difference. I'm not willing to try.
I also think it would be easier if I had a personal trainer. Someone who could say I promise if you gave up chocolate for one month, drank 2 more glasses of water per day (difficult to get in all 8 sometimes) and exercised for just an extra 10 minutes 3 times a week, you'd be at the weight you want to be in just 6 months.
But telling myself that just doesn't do the trick. I wish it did. *sigh*
I signed up for Sparkle People today (but haven't had a chance to really navigate the site yet) to get some of that feedback I'm desperately missing in real life (other than my clothes getting tighter).
ani
Its so hard!
Ani, I hear you on the struggle. Since I started writing, I've put on way more weight than I even want to admit to myself. Its a lesson in frustration trying to get the weight off. Its an even bigger frustration not being able to wear my cute clothes *sigh*.
I love your idea of a personal trainer, I might consider that after conference. And what is Sparkle People?
Oops!
It's Spark People. It's an online site (FREE) to help you attain your weight/health goals.
For instance, I put in my current height/weight and the short term goal(s) I've set for myself.
It's now sending me inspirational stuff to help me reach those goals.
I'd heard about it on another site and the people there raved about it so I thought I'd give it a shot.
ani
Motivation
Ani, this sounds so cool. I love anything that motivates and helps us stay on track. I'll have to check it out - and fingers crossed that it works wonderfully for you :-)
Side by side
Tawny--Did you know we are sitting next to each other at the Literacy signing? I guess we'll see if we live up to our avitars, lol.
I think it would be faster for me to just copy Karen's post and stick it here...I have felt exactly the same. And I have given up some stuff to try to regain my muscle tone, etc. I've started running. I've given up fried foods. I only have wine or beer on the weekends because it slows the metabolism. Actually, though, I think all those things are good for my general health, though and I should be doing them regardless.
Okay, I am officially
Okay, I am officially envious! I want to be sitting next to you two at the booksigning! Maybe I can change my name to Woley...oh, no. They'll call me Woley Poley Foley, LOL!
Oh no!
Woley Poley Foley!!!
LOLOLOLOL No *g* you don't want to go there...
Whohooooo
Yay Jeannie! I can't wait to sit next to you. Signings can be so uncomfortable, like a sitting stalker situation LOL - I'm glad I'll have company!
You know, I had to give up jogging when I broke my foot so I got an elliptical machine for exercise and it just isn't the same. Maybe after two years, my foot can take the beating of running again? Like you say, they are all good health things to do, but darn it its so hard to do it for your health when you don't see the body progress you want... at least, thats how I always feel :-(
Let's squeeze in together
Let's squeeze in together and make room for Foley Poley Woley...:)
Hmmm.
I actually had to think about this, and I'm still not sure I can answer the question, LOL.
I don't know if any of us perceives ourselves as we actually are. I think it hits me more in photos than in the mirror, but then, Mike has a way of taking photos that do seem to agree with how I see myself, the one here, and the one for the Rita -- I think they are more or less accurate. I've seen some other pretty awful photos, and thought NO that is not me. Maybe it is or isn't I don't know... I don't think I'd go to any great lengths to change, unless there was some magic potion or something. Genie magic. ;) I would love to have hair that never turned gray -- that's one complaint.
You know, it's those forty+ year old bitches who look twenty that ruin it for everyone, like Jennifer Aniston, LOL. (No hard feelings, Jen... I'm just jealous...besides, she's not 40 until next year)
Sam
Oh man
I probably shouldn't have said bitches... how about wenches? better?
Sam
*snicker*
nah... say what you really feel, Sam ;-)
Cool
I inspired contemplation ;-)
You know, it can actually be a serious consideration... here in America I think we have a very blurred line that people often cross in search of that "perfect self" they see in their head. While I'm willing to change my eating (altho how much healthier can it get for crying out loud?) and try new exercise habits, I'd never go under the knife and am anti-magic-pill.
and LOL about those bitches who ruin it for the rest of us. Its like that person who screwed with the grading curve in school, isn't it?! You just want to haul them behind the lockers and have a looooong talk.
It's true
Those horrible stories of plastic surgery gone wrong, etc are enough to put me off... no way.
It hit me that I tend to have more worry about thinking I *sound* stupid... I look how I look, basically, but where I usually find there's a disjunct is that in meeting people or conversation I usually will second guess myself later, thinking I babbled, said something stupid, sounded stupid, shouldn't have said this or that... LOL
When I was in grad school orientation I had to do a videotaped teaching segment, we all did them, and I was so mortified by mine that I went and ate lunch in my car and avoided everyone until the next day -- then they told me they did mine in class when I wasn't there, and everyone thought it was great and had nothing bad to say, LOL. I though I had sounded like a ninny.
I did the same thing after meeting you for lunch, Karen -- with Mike, like an hour later, I was like "oh, I went on too much, I was too negative about writing, I shouldn't have brought up and Mike's looking at me like "what are you saying?" It was fine... LOL
Oh well... it's why I like email so much. I can erase and rewrite...
Sam
You crazy girl...you
You crazy girl...you absolutely did not go on and on, and if you did then I have that same gene, because I loved it! I hope we can do it again soon!!
Don't compare to Hollywood or anyone
UgH! Don't we all want what we think we don't have??? We cannot compare ourselves to any celebs, unless they are doing worse than us ;). I mean seriously, we don't all have personal trainers, cooks, assistants, and who says that would make us thin, more beautiful, more whatever we wanted? And would we be happier???
Sam I always overthink my convo's after the fact. It's difficult not to, but we've got to move on. I come up with witty lines 2 hours later, it's like dang, why didn't I think/say that then???
Some days I look in the mirror and say Dang you LOOOOK Good. Other days, I avoid it like the plague because I think why does this girl have crows feet, wrinkles under the eyes, 20-30lbs heavier with no muscle tone, and look so tired?
It took me by surprise one day when I sent a pic over email to my Dad. I had gotten my haircut pretty short and styled differently. I thought I looked good, felt good, ect. He says, "You look tired(old)." I was aghast. I wanted to say Who are you? And where is my Dad? I think he realizes we are both getting older and I'm not his little girl of 8 years old that is totally infatuated with her Daddy. It was weird to say the least. But then I thought, heck if he thinks I look tired I better get some eyecream ASAP!
Then there's the other side of the coin, when I'm at work and my patients are shocked that I have 3 kids and one graduated from highschool. They cannot believe it. I think it is due to my way of thinking-I don't think I'm old and I do not act my age-that's the key for me. I just want to hug and kiss some of my patients!
Reality is we can only do what we can do, genetics is a LARGE part of the problem and you can't fight that. As I'm aging I realize that my genetics is a part of who I am-good, bad, ugly, beautiful. I, as a nurse, try not to look at the outside of the person, but the whole person, inside, mental, physical, ect.
I'd love a makeover. Just to see how someone else would do my make up, hair, clothing. But I am who I am. I'm not going to change my clothing that is comfortable to wear some 4 inch heels to make me taller. My feet and back are more important at this point in my life. And FORGET about giving up chocolate. I'll cut back, but unless I develop an allergy-life threatening-then no I will not could not give it up.
Sam, I love your Rita
Sam, I love your Rita photo!! I would say the only thing that really surprised me about meeting you in person was your voice...your photos have sort of a demure/scholarly look to them, but your voice has a laugh in it, sort of an underlying lilt of amusement that, IMO, goes well with your sense of humor.
What I would give up
Great post, Tawny! I think I would give up chocolate if it was a guarantee the weight would come off - and as long as I knew I could have a peanut M&M everyone once in a while (at least after the weight was gone) :-)
I often get baffled by people thinking I'm quiet and/or shy - then they're all surprised when I say something smart alecky (I think I just made up a word *g*)
I would definitely do a makeover to match my outward personal with my internal vision of myself! Of course, that might just be because I love makeovers, make-up, changing my hairstyle, and shopping for new clothes ;-)
Lets hear it for Makeovers
I'm with you, Beth. I love them too :-)
and unlike some, I actually expect smart aleckyness from you *g* Its one of your finer qualities LOL.
I have pretty much given up on chocolate, alcohol and so much else in my quest for the outer me... so far, the outer me is running away, but I do have hopes.
I've changed my mind...
I caught a look in one of those dressing room three way mirrors from hell this weekend, and I change my mind -- I think it all needs to be made-over... so, working on it! LOL
Sam