Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
Welcome Guest Blogger Susan Lyons!
Alpha Males and Macho Dudes
This is my first time on Cigars and I’m thrilled to be here.
Today I want to talk about alpha heroes. We always hear that romance readers love them. But what, exactly, is an alpha hero?
I guess each of us has her own interpretation. To me, an alpha guy is one who’s strong and skilled, a natural leader – but in an understated way. He’s never arrogant, pushy or “macho.”
Do you know what “macho” means? Characterized by “machismo.” And the definition of machismo is “overly assertive or exaggerated masculinity, esp. as characterized by a show of virility, domination of women, etc.” Okay, I doubt any of us women have anything against virility, but the rest pretty much sucks, at least to me. A guy who tries to dominate anyone else, male or female, is demonstrating a lack of self-esteem. Definitely not heroic. I so don’t want to know that kind of man. Or read about him.
You know which fictional hero epitomizes alpha to me? Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. When a black man was wrongly accused of rape and the whole town was out to lynch him, who took on his defense and protected his life? When a rabid dog threatened the town, who did the town turn to, to kill it cleanly with a single shot? Who was the best role model a young girl and boy could possibly have? Atticus never strutted or threw his weight around, but he stood up for what he believed in and quietly went about getting the job done.
I always liked Dick Francis’s books, because to me he wrote heroes who resembled Atticus Finch. Often his hero was small and unassuming – but by the end of the book, everyone knew he was the strongest man in any room.
Given my feelings on the subject, I bet you can guess what kind of heroes I write. They’re not the guys who are out for status or wealth, they don’t wear Rolex watches or drive pretentious cars, they’re all about doing what they believe in. You can always count on them, and no-one’s going to push them around.
Take Adonis Stefanakis, the hero of my September release, Touch Me. His Greek dad wanted him to follow in his shoes as a skilled tradesman, but Adonis took his talented hands in a different direction. He loves to heal people, so he does massage. He’s not what most people would call ambitious, but he’s found a way of life that keeps him healthy and balanced and allows him to help people on a daily basis.
When Ann Montgomery, a career-driven lawyer, meets younger-man Adonis, she can’t imagine him ever being more than a sexy fling. After all, she wants a man who’s as ambitious as she is. But Adonis sees problems with Ann’s way of life. She’s stressed and in pain, and in his opinion her priorities are seriously out of whack. His mission is to help her see that, and he has a whole arsenal of techniques at his disposal. It’s time Ann opened her eyes and saw past her own stereotypes – about work and about men – and Adonis is the right man for the job.
You can view a trailer of Touch Me here.
If you’re registered at Cigars and comment today, you could win a copy of Touch Me.
My question for you is, what kind of hero do you like? And is that answer the same for a real-life guy as for a fictional hero?
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Sounds great!
Love the sound of Adonis -- what a great hero! I also enjoy that kind of alpha, not just the soldier or the arrogant rich guy, but the healer or leader whose strength lies in his ability to care for others.
I do tend to like guys in books whom I would also like in real life. They are the most attractive to me in books, and I like strong, powerful men, but not controlling ones.
For instance, while I enjoy the JD Robb books, I have no personal design on Roarke -- he would drive me batty, not in the good way, though he might be a great friend to have *G*. I couldn't stand someone that controlling, which is what also hits me about a lot of other alphas, they are so dominant that it's hard to find them attractive, even when paired with a strong woman, it just doesn't work for me. I'm reading a series of paranormals now with very controlling alphas, and they are wonderful books, but the heroes don't appeal to me when they are too dominant. When they stand in front of the women and won't let them pass, or protect them against their will, that just grates on me rather than it being romantic.
The book I'm reading now, Nalini Singh's Caressed by Ice, is great, because the woman has been altered in such a way that she's really out of control of the male alphas, she's scaring the crap out of them, and it's great *G* -- and there's only one man who can relate to her, and he's definitely an alpha, but she's healing him as much as he's healing her, and it's a wonderful, equal relationship.
So, I like guys who have an alpha streak, who can be alpha, but who know when not to be, and who also can respect a woman's power as well. I like guys who are thoughtful and can carry a conversation, who can be fun and playful, but still intimidating when they get worked up. Who can protect if they need to, but who don't impose their protection on others regardless of what the others want.
So alpha but. . .not. ;)
Sam
Alpha but not
Sam, when you wrote about overly protective behavior annoying you, I was nodding my head. Then I thought, in real life sometimes it's nice when, for example, you're walking down the street with a man and you see a group of kind of tough-looking guys heading toward you, and your own man just unobtrusively switches sides to put himself between you and the toughies. I'm small and that one does strike me as a nice gesture rather than being offensive. Yet there are certain things some men do that make me feel like they're treating me like an idiot or a child, not a capable adult woman.
I guess this is one of those situations where I really wish they could read my mind. ;) Like, don't you know what behavior's going to please me in this circumstance, and what behavior's going to annoy me? LOL. Well, of course they don't - they're just men, after all. But in a book, I get to control what the hero does. Of course I want him to ring true as a man, but sometimes he can be a notch or two "better" than a real one!
Susan
I think Sam's last paragraph
I think Sam's last paragraph sums up pretty accurately what type of guy I would like in real life. In fiction I like alpha guys but also some of the beta guys I've like also---it kind of depends on how they act in the situations that face them.
Heroes I like
I like an alpha hero best in books I read. There is something about those alphas that draws me in the story. In real life, I prefer an alpha with beta tendencies.
Fictional versus real
Crystal, it's interesting that you like a different type of hero in fiction than you do in real life. I think we all look for different things in fiction. For me, I tend to most enjoy the stories that are closest to real life - e.g., that make me think, this could be happening to me or one of my friends (or, I wish this was happening to me!).
I read some paranormals and historicals etc., but not a lot because I feel distanced from those worlds and tend not to get as drawn into the story.
For you, it looks like you get drawn into a story by a hero who's maybe "larger than life".
Thank heavens we're all different! Writers can write all sorts of different kinds of books, and find a readership.
Susan
Alphas
Great topic! I'm currently working on book #100, and all my stories have always been about the men. And the men -- with two exceptions, which drove me batty to write -- are always alphas. Some may want to be a tad too controlling in the beginning (especially in those books from the 80s, lol), but all are confident enough in their own masculinity not to be threatened by a strong heroine. In fact, those are they only kind of women they'd fall for enough to surrender their independence. Because they're also smart enough to understand that they're more powerful as a team than they would be individually.
I like to call them alpha shell guys, because inside that tough, occasionally crusty exterior dwells a warm and caring heart. (Which is pretty much the guy I married.) The High Risk books I'm currently writing for NAL all feature former Special Ops heroes, but, of course, a true alpha need not be a warrior, cop, or cowboy or any of those other manly occupations that immediately come to mind. He's a guy who, as you stated, gets the job done. Not for any monetary reward or fame or recognition, but because at his core, he's a firm believer in justice.
Alpha shell guys
JoAnn, what a great term. Reminds me of a toasted marshmallow - one of my favorite treats. And that's what a romance hero definitely should be - a treat.
Yes, a man has to be confident enough in his own masculinity so he isn't threatened by a strong heroine. I had an interesting conversation Saturday night with a female doctor. She's blonde, pretty, has a great smile. When she meets people she tells them she's "in medicine." I asked her what happens when guys find out she's actually a doctor. Often, they run the other way. I've had the same thing happen when men find out I have a law degree. What is it that terrifies them so much? This woman definitely wasn't snobby about her education and nor am I. We both value friends with all sorts of different education, jobs, backgrounds, skills, etc. (Speaking for myself - if a gal associated only with lawyers, it would be a pretty boring world!) So I don't think it's about us, it's about the men. Their lack of self-confidence. Sad. Very sad. And definitely not heroic.
Susan
That fine line
I think there is a line between alpha and jerk *g* I'm all for the guys on the alpha side - like you say, the ones who get the job done, who you know you can count on and who have an unshakeable confidence in themselves. The jerks, though - um, no thanks. Bossy seems to come from that confidence, the "I know I can do this" that's just a little over the top. I'm fine with bossy (heck, I AM bossy) but never at the expense of someone else's confidence or when it becomes "do this my way, you don't know what you're doing." I think one of the things I do like about Roarke is while he's uber-bossy, ultra confident, he has just as much faith in Eve's abilities as he does his own. And hey, she'd walk all over a weaker man. Ya know she would *g*.
Susan, your hero sound dreamy -I can't wait to read the story :-) I love a guy whose good with his hands!!
A matching pair
Tawny, I think there's a big difference between aggressive/bossy and assertive. My guess is, you're more assertive than bossy. ;) And I think bossiness often springs from impatience with other people. They don't seem to see what needs to be done, or they're dithering around figuring out the best way to do something, or they don't have the guts to do it. So the confident hero (or heroine) just steps in and makes it happen.
It's definitely good when there's a match in strength between hero and heroine. Isn't it interesting how romance has changed? Used to be, the guy had to be super-strong and successful (the doctor or millionaire) and he always "rescued" the poor little nurse/secretary/whatever. I really liked the line in "Pretty Woman" where at the end he asks what happens when the guy rescues the girl, and she says, "She rescues him right back." Yeah, rescue is okay if it's mutual and if both individuals contribute to their own rescue - e.g., if they both have problems or weaknesses that they deal with as a result of having met the other person, and with that person's help.
(I'm glad you like the sound of Adonis. Yes, you have to love a man with talented hands. Not to mention a believe in tantric sex... Hope you enjoy the book.)
Susan
alpha heroes
Great topic, Sue, and I love the comments so far. For me, I love an alpha hero who is a warrior, one who will sacrifice himself and his soul for the greater good. But that doesn't mean he's an overbearing jerk. My favorite quote that describes him for me is from Jane Tompkin's West of Everything. She's actually talking about the archetype hero from the American West, but it works for me, especially in the paranormal worlds I write in:
"Whatever he does, he gives it everything he's got because he's always in a situation where everything he's got is the necessary minimum."
Warriors
I love your heroes, Alexis, and you definitely pair them with very strong women - plus you allow them to have weaknesses and vulnerabilities too (the men as well as the women). It's very effective.
And yes, I can sure see the parallel between the American West and your paranormal world with the Paladins.
I Loves Me Some Alpha
I mean, he's annoying because he tends to be right and have argument points that are hard to ignore. And our son turned out to be Alpha, too. There's a lot of "duh..." coming out of the kid these days. But I'm terribly attracted to old world charm. It just hits me as incredibly male. True alphas don't need to dominate. They just need things to make sense to their sense of rightness.
The key is usually to make them think they thought up your answer, lol.
Dee
Who's Right?
Dee, don't you just hate it when they're right? But they do feel so good about it. Love your advice about making them think they thought up your answer - though I have to say, I have a competitive side that always makes me want to claim credit for my own ideas.
Good luck with your son. I love old world charm too, and so do a lot of women. Maybe you can convince him of that?
Hi Susan
I love Alpha heroes as fictional heroes, but not as a rea-life guy. Guess I would wring his neck on a regular basis *grin*
Another favorite of mine are tortured heroes, who need the special person find happiness again. Those I would also take in real life.
Girls, if you haven't read any of Susan's books I can highly recommend them. Steamy stories with unforgettable characters.
Hi Danny
Hi Danny. Thanks for dropping by and for the great compliment.
I love tortured heroes too. I have an unsold MS with one of those (his name is even Dante) and I'd so love to sell that one. It got me some perfect scores in contests.
Susan
oh I will keep my fingers crossed that you will sell it soon.
tortured heroes
Oh, I do hope you sell Dante's story! I love reading and writing about tortured heroes, whom I call wounded alpha shell guys. In fact, Quinn Tremayne, from my upcoming Freefall, is a former SEAL dealing with PTSD issues who's tired of trying to save the world and just wants to be left alone. Hahaha. We all know how well he'll succeed at that once the heroine shows up on the scene!
As for actually living with an alpha, personally I believe they make a great choice for strong women. Which we, of course, all are here. I don't believe masculine confidence necessarily translates to controlling behavior, but will admit that it's taken a lot of years, and two marriages (a time, which, around our house is known as Jay's two years off for bad behavior, lol) to teach my sweetie that just because I'm fussing to him about something doesn't necessarily mean I want him to strap on the armor and go riding off to fix it for me. Sometimes a girl's just gotta vent. :)
I agree--tough with a soft center...
Hi, Susan,
I haven't yet had the pleasure of reading your work, but I'll be looking for your books now! Adonis sounds pretty terrific!
And as for the kind of hero I prefer, I agree that I loved Atticus Finch and his no-fuss, get-the-job done personality. I like alpha guys--I like heroes to know their own minds and to be strong and to take action when necessary. On the other hand, I would likely find one a little too much in real life--I'd probably get all "hey, don't tell me what to do!" on them :)
Don't tell me what to do
LOL, Fedora. Well, heroine Ann does have that problem with Adonis - and he with her as well. They're both strong-minded individuals.
For example, when they first get together, she's all about work and can only free up a couple of hours here and there for love-making - and she's got pretty clear ideas of what works for her in bed. Well, Adonis is into making love for hours and hours, and he's pretty darn sure his way is best. Neither's going to win the argument - and if they argue, then they'll lose a relationship both of them think is worth pursuing. So, they come up with "rules" to govern their relationship: they'll take turns "on top" - i.e., in control. This time they'll do things her way, but next time it'll be his way.
By the way, in each of the books in the Awesome Foursome series, the heroine and hero set up relationship rules. Champagne rules, Fantasy rules, Turns on Top rules, then Lights Off rules for my April book. The girls are in their 20s - young enough that they actually think they can structure a relationship with rules. ;) (Of course, wise author Susan is about to show them it just ain't gonna work!)
Comment on your question
I love a hero that can be tender and hard at the same time. I don't like wimps as heroes. It totally turns me off. A man needs to step up and take responsibility for himself, his lady, and the current situation (plot) that is happening. I love contemporary hereos from all walks of life who can be vulnerable at times. This was a good article. Congrats on the new title!!
No wimps need apply
You're so right, Laura. Definitely no wimps. That doesn't mean, of course, that a guy can't be tender and sensitive. I love veterinarians as heroes, for example. But we always have to see the guy's strength as well.
It's interesting to see how writers do this. If they have a super-tough warrior hero - like a SEAL, for example - they'll often have a couple of very tender moments where the guy is super-sweet to a baby or an animal, just to show he has that side as well. If the hero is "softer" (like a veterinarian or a lawyer like Atticus Finch), then the author has to have scenes where his strength, courage and leadership skills are demonstrated.
Alpha Heroes
Hi Susan! Nice to see you here!
I tend to like the western hero--strong, self-assured, tough, but not overbearing, and with a sense of humor underneath that takes a bit to uncover. A man who gets things done quietly and without fanfare, but who can be counted on to do the right thing. And they take care of their cattle and their women. Alpha? Definately. But rather than the corporate wolf, they are more the lone wolf--going in the direction they choose--until a woman enters their life . Of course, not just cowboys fit this description --there are soldiers, bodyguards, pilots --
Kathryn Albright www.kathrynalbright.com The Angel & the Outlaw ~ Harlequin Historical, Dec. 2007
Western heroes
Hi Kathryn - and congrats again on your first book hitting the shelves. I'm really looking forward to reading it. And how cool that you actually sold your Golden Heart finalist. (Mine is another on the stack of unsold manuscripts. That hero - Gabriel - is a tortured soul too, just like Dante.)
I do agree with you about those western heroes. I'm not a big fan of UK-set historicals, but I do love New World "frontier" books. And now I'm thinking about movies - and the younger Clint Eastwood in particular. Yum!
Heroes
Your hero sounds different and I like that. I enjoy alpha type heroes and I think that they are successful but that doesn't have to mean material success. I think they set goals and meet them, whatever they might be.
Material success?
Very true, Maureen. Heroes have personal goals - i.e., they set goals based on their experiences in life and their own values. They don't let society tell them what "a real man" is supposed to do - e.g., to have a certain kind of job, dress a certain way, drive a certain kind of car, and so on. They're independent and individualistic.
Alpha
I think I would like my hero to be an alpha male. There's nothing wrong with brawns and brains. I don't mean that he would rule ever aspect of my life, but it's nice to have someone take care of you and be in control of situations that you might not be able to handle. I still expect my feelings and opinions to be respected.
Alpha Hero
I love alpha heroes. I want to be strong yet honorable. Tough, but with a tender side. That was the type of guy I was looking for in real life and finally found it in my husband. I truly believe the two of us were meant to be together. We have been married 7 1/2 years, have a one ear old girl and 4 year old boy and I can say that I love him even more than the day I married him.
Alphas
Jane, yes, respect is very important. Mutual respect.
Cherie, what a great story. It's so nice when the wonderful romances aren't just in books but in real life too!
Good Question!!
I love in the novels I read Alpha males... arrogant, rich and ruthless. But in real life, I would prefer a much more sensitive guy!!
Same here! A nice alpha male
Same here!
A nice alpha male is great in romance... but not real life!
Alpha Males
I love alpha Males :wicked grin: I can even handle them acting high handed and arrogant as long as it's for (what they think is) a good reason. Confidence is sexy :sigh:
Jen
http://www.jenlewis.com
How much confidence?
OK, you ladies who love those alphas --
I agree confidence is sexy. But how much arrogance and high-handedness are you prepared to accept in the name of confidence? Where do you draw the line, as a reader, and say "OK, this guy's gone past being alpha to being a jerk"?
i like all heros, but i go
i like all heros, but i go for alpha males. i like strong and sensitive men.
I like alpha heroes who are
I like alpha heroes who are down to earth men. Not rich or super handsome Just good looking and sexy.
My fav hero is the dark
My fav hero is the dark moody mysterious type lol who I definitely don't want in real life hehe
Ashley
Split personalities?
So what's up with this thing about wanting one kind of hero in a book and another in real life?
What's the appeal in reading about the kind of man you'd really rather not meet?
I agree with Ash
I want him to have problems that I can solve. I want to be the woman that makes his world right. lol I want him to be strong, but be able to cry. The guys always save the girls, now we need to save them too.
Saving each other
Ash, I so agree. I think that's what romance is about, these days. It's why "Pretty Woman" worked so well for me. He was a seriously damaged person who didn't have a clue how to love. And she taught him. Because of her, he overcame his fears - he even climbed that fire escape ladder (or whatever it was) outside her building when he was scared of heights, just so he could win his princess.
And that's why I loved tortured heroes. The more tortured they are, the more of a challenge to the woman who's going to heal them.
Yeah, this is what I'm
Yeah, this is what I'm talking about! ;)
I think when someone goes through a lot in life, it makes them strong, but it can also make them have issues, and one of the most fun things in writing (and reading) romance is watching the hero/heroine separate out the good from the bad, to watch them grow and heal each other, and only these two could do for each other what no one else could do. I think it's that symmetry, that perfect union, that draws me in.
However, I also think there's a danger in that in real life, very damaged people are often not good romantic prospects, and there is the romantic ideal that a lot of people fall into that they think they can change someone who's damaged, when they can't, and it just doesn't go anywhere good.
So I always maintain that regardless of the circumstances, people in romance novels always hit the first page poised for change -- they have the ability to rise above what holds them back, and a healthy relationship is what they need to take them the rest of the way, IF they will engage with it, and for this they must grow. And this is what makes the story so suspenseful, for me, anyway. Will they do it? Because we know, from life, that there is a choice, and that many people will make the wrong one... To earn the HEA, the h/H must make the right ones...
Sam
Alpha in books, but
Alpha in books, but not necessarily for real life. Alpha males provide the excitement I want in a book. But for the day in, day out life in the real world I want someone more stable and dependable than someone out to conquer the world. Maybe that's why I prefer the storyline where the alpha male is damaged or tortured so I can feel more for him and relate better with an otherwise too strong personality that might otherwise overwhelm me and the heroine.
How tortured?
Sam and Sue A., and everyone else who likes those wounded soul/tortured heroes -
Sam raised the point that it can be dangerous to fall for someone like this and think they can be fixed. Yes, it's true that not all of them can - and I think both women and men can get sucked into trying to fix someone who can't or won't change. Women do it because we tend to be nurturers and healers. Men do it because it's usually in their nature to want to fix things. And let's face it, we all do it because we have enough ego to think we can be "the one" who makes the magical difference.
When I'm writing this kind of hero (or heroine), I want to make sure, as Sam said, that they are poised for change - and for me that means there's hope inside them. Hope that things can be different - and the guts to work through the bad stuff and come out the other side.
Contest winner!
Thanks to everyone who joined me and chatted - and especially to "Cigars" for inviting me. I've had so much fun.
The contest winner is Laura. Congratulations! Laura, I'll send you an autographed copy of Champagne Rules, Hot in Here, Touch Me or The Firefighter. Just email me at susan@susanlyons.ca and let me know which one, and give me your snail mail address.
And everyone else, please drop by my website at http://www.susanlyons.ca/. I have excerpts, discussion questions, photos, a monthly contest and all sorts of other good stuff. You can also sign up for my email newsletter, which will keep you posted on what's going on with me.
Big congrats Laura!
You will love her books.