Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
Being a Good Momma Bird
I spend a lot of time writing in my great room, in a chair that faces my bird feeders. I watch the chickadees and orioles, wrens and hummingbirds, robins and cardinals, going about their business, fighting over seeds, building nests, and most of all, taking food to their babies (or nesting mamas, depending on where they are in that stage of life), wherever they are in the woods behind me. These parents are busy being the best parents they can be, gearing up for a fast growth cycle that will move through just one season from baby to young adult, dependent to independent. It makes me really glad I'm not a momma bird, because I'm watching my teen daughter move into young adulthood...and taking the first steps toward leaving the nest.
When I look at the cover of my May release, DOORSTEP DADDY, I see her exactly as she looked when she was born. That cover image is very, very close to a picture I have of my husband holding our newborn daughter nearly sixteen years ago. To me, it's almost like it was yesterday.
And yet, now she's old enough to date, go to the junior prom with her boyfriend (who is a junior; she's not). To make many of her own decisions. To share secrets and giggles with her friends that no longer always include me. The circle that used to be her and I is still there, but we visit it less often, as she gravitates toward other circles with other people.
So far, it's been okay. She's made good decisions thus far, choosing friends I like, good girls who are as enjoyable to have around as my own kids. My daughter still talks to me, and we still have our own private jokes that only the two of us get and share.
But I can see the horizon. I can hear the clock ticking. We'll start visiting colleges soon, sending her off to Driver Ed training. Before I can blink, I know she'll be off on her own, out of the nest, living the life my husband and I have prepared her for. My heart is painfully torn between excitement for her and pain for me, as I watch one of my best friends move on and away, as she must.
I know one day she will be back, as I was with my own mother. She'll have her own children, and be on the phone, asking me for advice on changing diapers and quieting endless crying. And one of these days, she'll ask the hardest question of all.
"How did you ever learn to let go?"
Shirley
PS: One of today's commenters will be entered in a drawing to win a large-print edition of DOORSTEP DADDY!
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You guys are so cute!
Very nice blog, and very nice that you have a good strong relationship with your daughter -- you guys look so much alike!
I think you'll love your empty nest once you get used to it -- which probably won't take long. I know we love ours, and while we contemplate opening the door to foster or adopted kids, it's been a hard decision that we haven't acted on because we really do have our own life and routines, etc now, and it would be tough to move in the opposite direction. But with a lot of people I know, it seems to move in cycles... kids, grandkids, leave and come back, and then grow up, and so the empty nest is really just part of a larger cycle -- maybe to give you a break to get your energy before the next influx. ;)
Sam
I sure hope so!
the time goes so fast, and it's hard to imagine it being enjoyable, but that's what I've said about each stage as they've gotten older and I've wondered how I could ever love this age as much as I've loved that age. KWIM?
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
Momma's baby
I'm the baby of the family and I remember my Mom putting 'Babe' on my Christmas presents and letting me help her clean the house and help dry the dishes. Sadly, she passed when I was 22, so I didn't get to ask any questions like how did make the ham gravy taste so good? Or if she liked my boyfriend. Or any life meaning questions.
We did share the love of reading - she always let me choose 2 books from the Scholastic catalog in elementary school.
Even though she left the nest before me, I know she's watching over me and I'd like to think she'd be proud of who I've become. After all, some of the things I do, I remember her doing.
Hugs, Marcie...
My mom died almost 4 years ago, so she won't get to see my daughter become an adult. I think it's so hard to lose a parent, and especially a mom. Kudos to your mom on the books! I do that with my kids, and they have quite the collection!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
How terrific!
Hi, Shirley! Ditto what Samantha said--you and your daughter look and sound close, which is such a treasure! I have to remember myself that there's a time for every stage in parenting, just like there's a time for everything in life. When the time comes for the letting go, I'm sure you'll do fine, especially knowing that because of your closeness, she'll come back! Take care!
Thanks, Fedora!
I sure hope so! A friend of mine said the best way to raise a teenage daughter was to just keep on talking to her...and that's what I've tried to do. We talk, we laugh, we fight, we cry, and we talk some more.
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
Hi Shirley - I just finished
Hi Shirley - I just finished my first book by you, and it was hilarious and yet made me cry! I can't wait to read another book by you!
I know what you mean when you say that you are torn by the little ones growing up and leaving the nest. Mine is 12 going on 30, and time is passing by toooo fast.
Thank you!
Tucco,
So glad you enjoyed the book!! LOL about the 12 going on 30! I remember those days!!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
With your great relationship
With your great relationship with your daughter I know the transition will be hard but also easy. As she goes to college, gets her own place, falls in love you can and will be there every step of the way and be happy for her.
Isn't it nice to see the birds 'mothering' and each morning when I get off from work at 7 a.m. I love the birds chirping.
So nice that the book is in big print which helps me a lot these days.
Thanks, Buddy!
I do love the birds. I look forward to them every morning--the ones that say hello, the ones that visit the same feeder every day. We live on four acres, so it's pretty busy here all day!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
Ah, the daughters...
I can't imagine letting mine go, either. She's twelve and I'm grateful every day that she's still willing to be seen with me.
But Junior Prom. No, that I don't think I could deal with.
LOL, Diana
It's a big step, that's for sure!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
It is very hard to let go,
It is very hard to let go, but as close as you and your daughter are, I am sure you will still have a great relationship when she is an adult.
Thanks, Estella!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
They grow up to fast@
They grow up to fast! My son is in his junior year at college. He still lives at home but will be staying on the campus next semester. He still doesn't have his drivers license and I have to take him everywhere he needs to go. I told him he needed to get his license this summer, not that I am forcing him to grow up but he is ninteen years old. This past semester he was going to classes in a local town and I had to take him to class every day. I keep thinking he will drive when he's ready but I do wonder. He did have drivers ed in high school.
I agree...
The years go by at lightning speed! It seemed when my kids were babies, the years dragged, but now they go by so fast!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
Okay, the baby on your cover is just the cutest, ,evah!
I've been cooing over it ever since it was posted. It almost makes me feel broody. And really, I just can't go without sleep like that every again ;-)
My husband is abroad and my kids went above and beyond to make mothers' day really memorable for me. It was so cute the crazy schemes they cooked up.
And we always have birds nest all around our house (literally, like, on the house--on the gutters, in hanging baskets, etc). It's fun to peer into the nests and see what's going on.
Jen
http://www.jenlewis.com
How sweet!
That's so cool that your kids did all that for Mother's Day!! I agree--that baby is totally adorable, but there's no way in heck I'd start over again with a baby.
I do love seeing the baby birds. We have one in the gutter on our deck and DH wants to get it out of there, but I'm hoping he'll leave it be until the babies fly out of the nest--because I know they'll go right onto the deck where I can see them! :-)
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
Ah . . . teenagers
My daugher will be 15 in a couple of weeks. When we fight, I wonder how she got to be so independent and stubborn, having a mind of her own. And then I realize maybe I'm doing something right after all because isn't that a mother's job? I remember a quote I read long before I had kids; "A mother is not a person to lean on but person to make leaning unnecessary." Though I know I always have my mom's support even now that I'm an adult, she has instilled in me a belief in my self, that I am a strong person. I hope I pass that on to my daughter.
And I agree . . . I love your new cover.
Very wise advice!
But so hard to remember, LOL!
And thank you! That cover is one of my favorites!!!
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
And the winner is...
Marcie R!
Send me your snail and I'll get a copy of DOORSTEP DADDY to you!
shirley@shirleyjump.com
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: DOORSTEP DADDY
www.shirleyjump.com
THE WELL, coming in September
www.ajwhitten.com
yippee!
Thanks Shirley! I'll email you when I get home from work! Awesome. Thanks again.