Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
Girls' Week
My husband has been out of town for the past week. He comes home tonight, just long enough to pack a suitcase and head out again on Sunday, this time for two weeks.
I was actually looking forward to him being gone, envisioning an all-girl household with suppers that consisted of ice-cream sundaes and then dessert! I wouldn't have to watch his political talk shows every night. I wouldn't be tripping over his big boots or picking up after him.
All I can say is that it's been an interesting experience. Usually, I'm the one who's been required to travel extensively with my job. And while I miss my family when I'm gone, I guess I didn't have a true appreciation for what it's like to be a single parent, until now. Usually, I leave the house at 5:00 a.m. and am in my office by 6:00 a.m. The only one I interact with in the morning is the cat, who is always happy to see me. I've never had to deal with cranky teenagers in the morning. Just trying to get them out of bed has been a challenge, never mind trying to find clean socks, or print out a homework assignment exactly two minutes before the bus arrives. By the time I leave for work, I'm already exhausted and feel like I've put in a full day of work!
This week, both of my daughters have been in school plays, and I've spent my afternoons and evenings rushing from elementary school to high school and back again, dropping off and picking up. Our meal schedule has been completely shot to bits. We've been eating Weight Watcher entrees all week, and at different times, and never together. Because I'm leaving for work later in the morning, I'm getting home later in the afternoon. My cell phone rings constantly, from the time my younger daughter arrives home at 3:00, wanting to know when I'll be home, can I stop by Staples and pick up more pencils, more paper, a tri-board (because, oh-by-the-way, my science project is due tomorrow), or go to the supermarket and buy milk, cereal, chocolate, bread, etc.
And when I finally fall into bed, somewhere around 10:00 p.m., I can't sleep because I hear every noise the house makes. Every creak of the floor, every tick and gurgle of the heating system brings me to full awareness of the fact we are ALONE. I get up twice to recheck the doors. I get up again to move the dog and his bed from my bedroom to a position at the top of the stairs, so that an intruder will have to come through him to get to us. I sleep with my cell phone beside my pillow, and the Holy Mackerel (a foot-long fish, carved out of very heavy wood that normally sits on our windowsill) on the bed beside me, to be used as a cudgel just in case someone does make it past the dog.
I thought having my husband away would be fun, like a week-long slumber party with just me and the girls. Boy, was I wrong. I can't wait for those big boots to stride back through the door, and to pick up his coat, briefcase, papers, etc.
And for all the single parents out there, my hats are off to you.
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Ain't it always the way??
When I was working full time, I'd dream about having more time off. "If I didn't work full time, my house wouldn't look like this." "If I wasn't at work all day, I'd do X, Y or Z instead."
Not I'm half time and my house is still a mess. A different kind of mess as I tear things apart that haven't been torn apart in years just to put things back together again.
And X, Y and Z? I can't afford them now. LOL
I guess the grass really IS greener on the other side! Until you get there and discover it still needs mowing.
But the good news is you recognize how much you miss him and the things you really appreciate about him while he's gone.
And maybe you can manage one of those ice cream sundae dinners in the next two weeks!
ani
Welcome to my world, LOL
Well, true, I don't have the cranky teenagers -- that would complicate things LOL -- but I hate it when Mike travels, I always have. It's lonely, and yes, night time is always a little more sleepless. I have two dogs in the bedroom with me, as usual, and it's interesting, because when he's gone, they are on more alert, too. It's like they know.
I also miss having someone to have coffee with in the morning, and watching TV by myself is not as much fun.
However, it was really awful last time, in Nov, when he traveled -- *everything* seemed to break for those 3 days, so I was even w/out internet, etc. It SUCKED. LOL
I have never been out of town, leaving him home alone, DC will be the first time. I think he's looking forward to it, LOL, but I am already worrying he won't replace the dog/cat water as often as I do, or remember to feed himself, LOL.
Sam
My husband and I are
My husband and I are retired.
I can never wait for Fall and hunting season so he will be gone for a few days.
I love him dearly, but I need the yearly respite.
Estella, I agree with
Estella, I agree with you...I think it's nice to have time for yourself every so often! I get that whenever I do business travel or attend conferences, but realize that in the twenty years we've been married, I've never been at home without him. He's never had to travel and he doesn't do guy things that extend overnight, like hunting or golf trips, etc.
Both of us travel often...
So each of us has had time alone in the house without the other. I do like a couple days by myself, and total control of the remote :-) But too many days gets tough -- getting the kids back and forth, doing all the chores, especially the outside ones I hate, that gets old fast. Like you, Karen, my mornings are three times more hectic when he's not here because I'm trying to get ABC done before I get out the door -- essentially doing my routine and his.
He has an easier time in the mornings when I'm not here because he basically does the same as always -- skips all my chores, LOL. He leaves those until just before I come home, then makes the kids do a massive clean-up so it looks like the house was always clean. LOL.
But one thing I can say about each of us traveling a lot -- we both are happy to see each other when we get home. It reminds us why we appreciate the other! :-)
Shirley
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author
In Stores Now: THE BRIDESMAID AND THE BILLIONAIRE
www.shirleyjump.com
That is totally how I feel!
My husband doesn't travel too often for business, but when he does, we all miss him! The house feels oddly quiet, and I think I dislike feeling like the only responsible grown-up on board--definitely hats off to all you single parents out there!
And hang in there, Karen! :) Maybe if you make one of the nights an intentional slumber party, it'll help break up the time in a fun way--my kids are still relatively little, so the last time DH was out of town, I let them pick one night to all sleep in our bed. It was pretty amusing (and warm--those kids are little furnaces!)
Been there...
Karen~
When my kids were small it was very, very difficult. I was a full time SAHM and didn't do alot outside of the house. A week with the kids was okay or about 2 days. DH could not understand why I would say, "I'm tired of being a single parent." I didn't say this to hurt him. It's just how I felt. I didn't like it. I did not want to do it. Hated night time, exhaustion on the 3rd night would finally kick in and I'd sleep. Then dh could not understand why I wasn't waiting in bed all decked out in the latest spicey outfit and be a sex kitten instead of hitting the pillow and cutting some wood. HELLO! I'm freaking TIRED buddy. I was resentful that I had to *handle everything*. That's NOT why I got married. I didn't choose to do this alone. And most of the time I don't. But it feels like it.
Single parents are AWESOME creatures. *clapping*
Now, it's different. When he goes away for a few days, I'm like YES! I get the tv to myself. I can read in bed with the light on. Do what I want. I can fall asleep fairly easily, most nights. Well, except for all of the teenage drama. Why do those people I created wait until Dad is gone to act up? Because I'm the Mom. That's why.
Which reminds me of my Mother saying that same thing. Because...I'm the Mom. She only had one child, and a *good* one at that. I have three. There's only one of me. Can I move out until they are 20ish? Please? I just send myself to my room nowadays. They know not to bother Mom if she is napping or if the door is closed. Not unless there's a true emergency. Which does not mean a stupid phone call. I'm unavailable. :D
Anyway, wanted to let ya know I've been there. It gets easier, not better. Like when the basement floods, the hot water heater goes out, the furnace doesn't start and it's smoking and a crazy mother is yelling get out! get out! Yeah, it gets easier...sometimes.
Tracey, your comment brought
Tracey, your comment brought back so many memories! When my kids were little, my husband was in sales and frequently had to do evening appointments, which left me with the bedtime routine. I think that was worst...I remember falling asleep on the bedroom floor beside my youngest child's bed, because she wouldn't sleep otherwise. I know...bad mommy. Super Nanny would disapprove. But I didn't care because she would be quiet, and I would get some much needed sleep. Yes, big hoorays for single moms (and dads), because it isn't easy.
When DH and I were first
When DH and I were first dating, he was working a job that required a lot of travel. For the first 3 or 4 months, he was home every other weekend, and that was it. Then he got to where he'd be home most weekends, but gone during the weeks. It was that way when we moved in with each other, for a few years. Then he finally found a way to not travel much at all. Let me tell you, that was an adjustment for both of us!! We'd both wanted it, but had no idea how hard it would be to be used to each other being around so much. :-) I actually enjoyed the few times he traveled during that time, because it was a break, of sorts. Now, with the little one, I can't imagine him being gone. He got laid off a few weeks ago and we are dearly hoping he can find a job that doesn't involve travel (although just about any job would do right now!).
My sister is a single mom...I have always been amazed by her. And she and my nephew are visiting this week for their spring break. Woo hoo! :-)