Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
OMG!! She's Asking Questions!
Sam and Jeannie and I got to know each other on the Superromance board at eHarlequin. Every once in a while someone on that board will post a question and the answers never fail to surprise and delight me with their creativity and flat-out funny.
On a Tuesday morning* I can’t think of anything better than surprise and delight with some flat-out funny on top, so let’s see how this goes. I’ll ask questions and anyone who wants to can chime in with an answer.
- I think you’d be surprised to know that I _______________________.
- The worst hair disaster ever was _____________________________.
- The opponents: __________ vs. ____________. The contest: _______________. The winner is ___________________ because _______________________________.
- When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be _______________________.
- (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? _______________________.
Now I will sit back and wait for the surprise and delight! Have at it!
Note: Feel free to skip questions and/or willfully misinterpret them. It’s all fun and games until someone takes me seriously. ;-)
*I thought I was supposed to post yesterday (Monday). I think this would have been better as a Monday post, but hey, Tuesdays aren’t so wonderful, are they? We can still need cheering up on Tuesday, right? :-)
»
I'll start
I'll go first. It's late at night, though, so I'm not entirely responsible for what I may say...
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that I almost got suspended from high school. (I was innocent. Honest.)
2. The worst hair disaster ever was Poison or possibly Flock of Seagulls.
3. The opponents: John Cusack vs. Colin Firth. The contest: Ellen's All-time Movie Screen Boyfriend. The winner: It's a tie!! Because, dude, I get them both!!.
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be: Hmmm. Can't decide between Oreos for Everyone and 360 Days of Vacation. Must consider carefully...
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? Argh! Unfolded laundry. Why did I look???
;-)
Brilliant!
Ellen, you come up with the best games, here and on the Supers board... this is so much fun. :) I can't resist.
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that kids sometimes freak me out. Weirdly, like cats, they seem drawn to me for that reason.
2. The worst hair disaster ever was the home perm my mother gave me as a teenager -- I have naturally curly/wavy hair, and it turned orange and afro'd -- I looked like Annie in the worst possible way. For weeks.
3. (Skipping this one... I could be here all morning trying to come up with a contest, though I thought interesting opponents would be Michael Westen (Burn Notice) vs Cal Lightman (Lie to Me), though I have no idea what these two would do or who would win...but I'd sure like to see it. :)
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be to have everyone in the world win a big lottery at least once.
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? Two dogs sleeping.
Fun, Ellen. :) I'll think on that contest and come back to it -- that one was tough! :)
Sam
The home perm...shudder. I once got two perms. I got one, but my hair didn't curl so I went back the next day and the stylist said the perm "didn't take" so she gave me another one. That one didn't do much either, so I set off for my freshman year of college with wiggly, crinkly hair. I decided to get it cut short and SPROING!! the perms came to life. Ugh. Turned out my hair was too heavy for curls, but once it was short...oh, the horror.
Re: Your Benevolent Rule: I vote for you. What an excellent plan!
P.S. I have this vision of you with small children clinging to your pants legs as you try to pretend they're not there. ;-)
Re: kids
Yeah, that pretty much describes my parenting style, LOL, except I'd be trying to shake them off, or walk close to the edge of doorways. (Kidding, kind of -- I loved to hug and cuddle my son, and our family babies, but I really don't like clingy kids.). I never quite know what they're thinking or what they want (except food -- I can feed them quite well) so they make me cagey. I think they should come with instructions, warning labels, or at the very least, hazmat suits.
Sam
kids
I've never been one of those people who just have to hold or go "coochie coo" to every baby in sight. In fact they basically unnerved me. When I was dating my husband if we walked into a restaurant with a bunch of kids I would turn around and say let's find someplace else to eat. Finally after we had been married about a year I realized there were kids running all around me in a grocery store and I didn't even notice. I went home and told my DH it was time for us to have children, lol!
I was fine with my own kids, but am still not really a baby person. I haven't held my cute little baby niece yet on this visit because she's in a cling-to-mom stage and I don't want to upset her. My 17 year old had no qualms though, she just picked the baby up. She's like my mom and a baby magnet.
Babies
Hee. I had an unfriendly baby. He's an extremely nice and outgoing kid, but as a baby he didn't want anything to do with anyone except me and his dad.
I'm enduring cosmic payback right now because my sister's baby hates me. She's pretty shy around everyone, but with my grandmother and me it's downright horror. I'm sure she'll come around. It's a bit unnerving though...I'm actually pretty nice. ;-)
Betty--I think you're making the right choice. I'm letting my niece get used to me--as much as I'd like to cuddle her, I don't want her traumatized. ;-)
babies
That's how I feel about it, Ellen. When we were here at Christmas I held her a lot, but she's now at the "only mom" stage. My youngest was like that -- she didn't even like Dad, lol! My older daughter would go to anyone -- she was a very friendly sort. At 18 she still likes being around people much more than her younger sister.
My turn
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that I once rode a bucking bronco.
2. The worst hair disaster ever was the time before my brother’s wedding when my future SIL decided to give me a cut. She did such a horrible job my mom had to take me to a salon where to even things out the stylist had to cut off most of my hair. I went from long locks to a bob overnight. Then to make matters worse my mom gave me a perm right afterward. Yikes! ***
3. The opponents: Farm Town vs. Yoville. The contest: Distracting unsuspecting Facebook addict from work, chores, cleaning house, their kids…. The winner is a tie because once you’re addicted to one application; you’re pretty much wasting time on all.
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be to declare middle age sexy. Note: I didn’t mention “hot.”
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? A picture of my little niece in a princess jasmine costume. (I’m sleeping in her bedroom while we are visiting).
*** I’m living through another hair disaster right now. Last week I went to the stylist who cut my daughter’s hair and he basically destroyed mine by thinning some in the back. It looks ridiculous. Now I have to wait for this to grow out and/or cut my hair really short (which I hate). Grrr!
Broncos
A bucking bronco? That's a good story! (Maybe Jeannie would like to hear more...sounds like good fodder for a book! Or maybe you have plans to use it yourself!) :-)
Love the contest. I've stayed far away from the apps on Facebook because I suffered through an issue with online Scrabble at one time. Addiction isn't quite a strong enough word. ;-)
#4 sounds great. You're now in charge. ;-)
giving it a go
I think you’d be surprised to know that I was a heavy metal girl.
# The worst hair disaster ever was when I was 11 and got a Pat Benatar hair cut.
# The opponents: Paris Hilton vs. _Heidi Pratt. The contest: Biggest publicity whore. The winner is Heidi Pratt because OMG I didn't think anyone could be stupider than Paris Hilton.
# When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be to declare Mondays half days.
# (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? A pile of laundry that's barely clinging to the ledge of my desk.
Teehee...fun! Thanks for the giggle, Ellen!
Oh Kim
Kim--Pat Benatar, really? You poor misguided rocker chick. I really would like to see a photo of that! :-)
Love the juxtaposition of OMG and Paris Hilton. OMG that's funny.
Thanks for playing along. :-)
LOL
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that I occasionally work as a nude model.
2. The worst hair disaster ever was a perm that took on one side...and not the other.
3. The opponents: monster trucks vs. Indy cars. The contest: who holds my 4-yo's attention longer. The winner is Daddy because Daddy rocks!
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be national health insurance.
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? A SQL server programmer flipping off his computer with both middle fingers!
Anne
www.annecalhoun.com
www.annecalhoun.wordpress.com
Hmm
Anne--I am surprised by #1, but I am also bowing down in awe. Go, you!
As I read these posts I'm beginning to think we need a nationwide campaign about the dangers of the Perm! ;-)
I like your #5. It's always good to work in a professional atmosphere. ;-)
Thanks!
#5
rocked, no doubt. I'm in a coffee shop, too. I used to work as a programmer so I knew EXACTLY how he felt! ;) Sometimes that's all you can do.
Anne
www.annecalhoun.com
www.annecalhoun.wordpress.com
Ellen...
What an awesome way to kick off Tuesday! Especially since I'm bracing myself for my oldest's third-grade end-of-the-year party... Thanks!
OK, let's see...
1. I think you'd be surprised to know that I just danced in a dance recital a couple weekend ago. Or maybe that I've never texted before? Does that make me a dancing fool? Or at least a dancing Luddite...
2. The worst hair disaster ever was thankfully averted on my wedding day when my sister made the hairdresser fix the insane abomination on my head that initially resembled some sort of small animal.
3. The opponents: the kids vs. themselves. The contest: who can drive us up the wall the most quickly. The winner is a tie because somehow they all have different innate powers of batty driving (and they aren't anywhere near driving age yet... we're DOOOOOOOOOMed...) (Oh, and I'm definitely with you all--I'm mostly OK with my own kids, but not one of those universal mom-types. Aiyiyiyi...)
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power Over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be More Books for Everyone.
5. Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? Hmm... an unhung frame (for which we need to first choose photos). And a pair of my youngest's dirty socks. *sigh*
Hahahaha
Poor us and our hair disasters. Thank goodness for your sister. :-) I had a "trial run" done with my wedding hair do. When it was finished I looked EXACTLY like Laura Ingalls when she got her first teaching job, straight down to those disturbing curls right in front of her ears. Do over!!
In reference to #3 where you said, "Aiyiyiyi." I laughed and laughed. I do feel that way sometimes. My kids are 12 and almost 10. I went to a party for a 1 year old a few months ago and felt so sorry for the parents. Being with kids that young is intense!
Thanks for playing! :-)
P.S. What kind of dancing?
Yep...
Now that my youngest is almost 4, I'm fast leaving behind the whole "awww, must have a baby!" feeling. No more, please! :D
As for dancing--ballet.
And yep, I'm thankful for my sister often and again and again!
I'm loving everyone's answers, and I definitely want to go work for Karen! Can't wait to see her and Sam's cover models begin, too...
Glad
I'm glad people had fun with this. I always enjoy this kind of post--people are so creative.
I wasn't expecting you to say ballet. That's impressive! Have fun. :-)
I like how #4 is shaping up!
So far, we're all sexy, rich, healthy women on vacation 360 days a year, with a constant supply of Oreos and endless reading material.. ;)
This speaks to me.
Sam
Laundry
I'm intrigued by the proliferation of laundry. Is it actually piled everywhere in our houses or do we carry it with us from place to place. Hmm?
Must have more Oreos while I consider the implications of this data.
;-)
dastardly laundry
In our case, we live in a very small house and while we do not have gobs of clothes, we have very little closet space so where to put the clothes is always a quandary. One of the major requirements of the house we buy will be plenty of closet space because I HATE the piles of laundry everywhere. It makes me feel as if I'm living in a scene from a 1930s movie about a laundress who irons everyone else's clothes for 25 cents a load. ARRGGHH! The funny thing about that? I don't even iron my own clothes!
John Travolta
Now I'm seeing you in John Travolta's kitchen from "Hairspray."
(Let me know if Zac Efron drops by...)
Laundry...ugh
Yes, laundry is also the bane of my existence. If I'd been sitting in the sunroom and not the family room when I looked quickly to the left, then I too would have seen piles of laundry stacked on the window seat. I hate laundry. Or at least, I hate that my kids don't do their own laundry and then put it away. I once went on a laundry strike. My kids actually went to school bare-assed (or at least commando) because they had no clean underwear. But somehow, I'm back to doing the laundry.
Ooh, how fun.
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that I love rivers and lakes, but am petrified of water deeper than my head especially in pools.
2. The worst hair disaster ever was the one that earned me the nickname "Fro".
3. The opponents: Barney vs. Teletubbies. The contest: Fight to the Death. The winner is mankind because neither would survive.
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be eliminate the emotion that makes us always want to please our inlaws (while also wanting to strangle them).
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? My chai mug is EMPTY! How did that happen? Must fix it!
Thanks for the fun this morning, Ellen!! (Yes, it is still morning here in AK.) I love all the fun responses. Mmm....cheetos. Oreos I could take or leave...but cheetos.... I don't know if it is good or bad that I need to run to the grocery store this afternoon. :-) Cheetos.....
Oh no, Fro
#2 is a perfect summary of the issue, I imagine. Dare I ask if a perm, perhaps of the home variety, was involved?
#3 Would it be possible to shove Bob the Builder into the fray as well?
#4 hmmm...I don't think I got that emotion. Oops. ;-)
Thanks for playing!
LOL - yes, #2 was a perm.
LOL - yes, #2 was a perm. Multiple perms, over the course of a number of years. All professionally done. It started when I had long hair, and didn't look too bad (for the 80s). Then it kept getting shorter and shorter and well,...yeah. :-)
I don't see why Bob couldn't join the party! Can he do it? Yes, he can!
Wendy wants to come to
Cathy--the yes he can made me laugh out loud.
THAT is why he must be invited!
;-)
Very fun post, Ellen! I
Very fun post, Ellen!
I think you’d be surprised to know that I have been arrested--twice. Once when I was thirteen and caught stealing pumpkins from a neighbor's field (the arresting officer was my father, which was a nice touch) and once when I drove onto a military base in Germany with an expired registration (there was an unrelated lockdown of the base almost at the same time, and the flustered guards impounded my car, but let me go).
2. The worst hair disaster ever was a failed home perm which resulted in losing all the hair down the center of my head; I had a bald strip for months, sort of like a reverse mohawk.
3. The opponents: The hero from Sam's HARD TO RESIST cover, and the hero from my ABLE-BODIED cover (see book covers, on right), mostly because they'd both look awesome flexing their muscles, all covered in sweat.
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be: Two-day work weeks and five-day weekends, with double the salary. And extended lunches.
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? Mmmm...crackling fire in the fireplace because it is freaking COLD outside and drizzling rain and I spent two hours watching my child's softball game and am still trying to get warm.
Wonderful
Karen--I love all these answers.
1. Your dad? Poor him. Poor you...
2. A reverse mohawk. Ugh. I'm imagining you invested in hats? Or scarves? Or wigs?
3. Excellent. I'm waiting IMPATIENTLY for the games to begin.
4. Will you be my boss? ;-)
5. A fire. That's lovely. (The baseball in the rain, not so much. I did that on Monday. Brrr.)
Thanks!
Oh, Karen
I do like the way you think, lady. What a great contest. :)
cool post ellen
Okay my turn!
1. I think you’d be surprised to know that I was hit by a car when i was 18 months old! (Car vs- me, I won!)
2. The worst hair disaster ever was a grown up haircut for high school that ool my long straight blonde hair into a too-short cropped cut that had people mistake me for a guy (Until i turned around and they saw the girls!!!)
3. The opponents: Kathie Lee vs- Kelly rippa. Both are incredibly annoying and both need a buttkicking!
4. When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be: Free maid service for every woman, the maids will be male cover models who love to scrub the floors in a speedo!
5. (The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? A large stack of books, my TBR pile!!! (SO not enough reading time now that my five year old is out of school!)
this rocks, i love these ellen.
(Zac is a cutie isnt he!!!)
jody
A solution
A solution to the laundry problem has been offered in #4. I'll take a pair--they can wash the clothes and then hang them on the line. I will relax indoors with my Oreos. ;-)
I feel for you with the TBR. I read a big one this weekend and my table is looking almost bare now that there are only 16 books piled on it. ;-)
Thanks!
LOL - all these laundry
LOL - all these laundry problems. I don't mind laundry at all (wish I still had a place I could hang it outside, but oh well). What *I* need is someone to do dishes. I abhor doing dishes. I'll take a couple of those guys for dishes! (DH seems to have forgotten our deal...I cook, he cleans up. It was *his* idea, too!)
easy peasy Cathy
Just don't do them. :)
I think that you have to stick to the deal, too, for it to work -- which means you don't do it, even if there is not a dish left. That's why God made paper plates. :) Women, I find, often need to hone the "don't do it" skill.
You don't want to know how long I've let the bathrooms go if he said he'd clean them... Never in a nasty, argumentative way -- I don't nag -- but I don't do it, either. :) You just figure it will get done at some point. :)
Or you can always renegotiate a new deal. :)
Sam
Oh, I *don't* do them!!
LOL - trust me, it would take a LOT to get me to actually do them. I don't mind putting things in the dishwasher, but I think I break out in hives at even the thought of handwashing. Shudder. :-)
To be fair, DH suggested the plan because he doesn't mind doing dishes and he doesn't like to have to worry about dinner when he gets home. Fine by me, I like to cook. And he cooks AND cleans up on weekends.
So, I really have no space to complain. It has been a busy week and he hasn't washed after dinner for a few nights like he normally does. Though I think he's been rubbing off on me...when I lived alone, an item that didn't go in the dishwasher would sit for weeks on the counter (until I needed it again) without me really seeing them. Now, it has only been a couple days and I've noticed! Augh!
I'm about to be gone with the wee one for two weeks (DH has to work so he's not getting to go). I would bet money that the place will be cleaner when I get home! I really am blessed. :-D
Cool
Good going ;) Never surrender, LOL.
I know when dh goes on trips, I hate it when he's gone on garbage day, because while we split most of the regular housework, that's the one thing I never have to do (including the cat box, yuck...), but it also can't be let go. That would be bad, so I have to step up, LOL. Thank God it's only a few times a year...
Sounds like we're both pretty lucky. :)
Sam
This is a great post, Ellen.
This is a great post, Ellen. And wow, was I surprised. Nude models, arrested prom queens...good stuff. Mine pales by comparison, but here goes
1.I think you’d be surprised to know that I was the first woman allowed to mow the ball field at the University of Idaho (women just can't handle driving a 72" Toro in circles, you know.)
2.The worst hair disaster ever was the short Ronald McDonald with the Bozo wings over the ears that I got when I'd asked for a body wave. It was a two-clown special that week at the salon I frequented
3.The opponents: me vs. Ellen. The contest: the dance-off at the Harlequin party. The winner is to named because if the DJ plays Dancing Queen, I'm sunk. No one rocks to ABBA as well as Ellen.
4.When the people finally wise up and grant me Infinite Power over Everything, the first act of my benevolent rule will be mandatory "me" time for one hour a day for everyone.
5.(The last one requires action.) Quick. Look to your left. What do you see? A coffee cup and yellow wall. Boy, do I have a boring left.
Bring it
Oh, Jeannie Watt, you are going to regret this. A dance off? Bring it, sister. ;-)
OMG, two clown special was too, too funny. I want to see photographic evidence of that one. Does it exist?
Your #1 has me cracking up, too. Someone sent me an email with a list of summer classes for men. It included:
1. The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? (Round Table Discussion.)
2. Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
I think Mowing in Circles might be a good class for anyone!
P.S. Your left might be boring but at least you didn't see laundry.
Nope--no laundry to the
Nope--no laundry to the left. As to the dance off--it's on! The winner TBA the Monday after Nationals. :)
Oh, and sadly, no photo evidence of the double clown. I don't know what happened to those photos.
Cue the dance montage
I've started training. Imagine me, looking somewhat like the Chris Penn character in "Footloose," working feverishly on my routine between now and Friday, July 17th.
I wonder if your daughter might know where some of those photos are...;-)
Left, right, spin, jazz hands!
When you imagine me
When you imagine me training, think Flashdance. Leg warmers and all. Or...you might want to check this out--this is the dance I told Sam I was going to do at Nationals (although I am going to wear a shirt). Wanna be my partner? You can wear a shirt, too.
I love those guys
My kids and I watched Britain's Got Talent via YouTube. Those guys were such sweethearts and so totally cool with themselves and each other. My boys and I were pulling for Aidan Davis, but Stavros was in our top three.
I do believe I could pull that dance off. I'll bring the blond wigs. ;-)
P.S. Here's me: Chris Penn or Ellen???
*sigh* OK--I jusr ordered
*sigh* OK--I jusr ordered Footloose. I've always loved that movie.