Karen Foley
Lynn Raye Harris
Ellen Hartman
Diana Holquist
Samantha Hunter
Shirley Jump
Dee Tenorio
Jeannie Watt
Jon and Kate Plus Eight, the Romance Novel
I watched a show two nights ago called Jon and Kate Plus Eight and I still haven’t recovered. This “family” show, as most of you probably know, is about a couple (Jon and Kate), their nine-year-old twins, and their five year old sextuplets. Kinda like the Brady Bunch only dad was caught by paparazzi with another woman. And mom is alleged to be having an affair with her bodyguard (bodyguard?). You know, just good ole American family entertainment about a “real” family.
Put this in a romance novel, and no one would want to read it. Put it on T.V. and no one can get enough.
So how to make this show into a suitable romance novel?
1) Re-name Jon “Blake.”
2) Give Kate long flowing blond hair. Please. Anything but that hair she has on T.V. ANYTHING. What is up with that hair? (“Her asymmetrical, spiky-in-the-back, multicolored hair made him hot with desire. It made him think of, er, porcupines. But very sexy porcupines. Blond ones. With streaks…”)
3) When it’s time to plan birthday party for sextuplets, instead of having Jon come late, looking like he just rolled out of another woman’s bed, have Blake come early, and set up party himself.
4) Cut scene where Kate says, “If that magician doesn’t have a real bunny, I’m gonna kill him.” Not heroine material.
5) Cut scene where Kate tells us that only three of her children thanked her for their birthday party and then tells us their names. Not heroine material.
6) Oh, heck, cut all of Kate’s scenes. Romance novel readers would HATE this woman. Will she ever stop yelling at everyone and bossing them around?
7) Keep scene where Jon/Blake goes back to get cake Kate forgot. Keep scene where Jon/Blake climbs around the bouncy house, drying it with a paper towel. Keep scene where Jon/Blake says he wants out of this spotlight. Keep scene where Jon/Blake gives one of his daughters dating advice.
8) Add scene where Blake rescues overweight magician’s bunny from out-of-control kids.
9) Add scene where Kate realizes that she loves Blake. She sends away all the cameras. “I don’t care if I get $75,000 per episode, my family and my husband are more important than money!”
10) And they all lived happily ever after….
Why do we want such different things from our T.V. and our romance novels? Or do we? Have you seen this show? (If so, I’m so very sorry.) What do you think?
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Ick
Sounds horrible, but I tend to turn a blind eye to anything that suggests couples with unruly dogs or too many children anyway. And the heroine does sound annoying.
I don't know that I want different things from TV and novels... I think I like the same kinds of things in both. Lots of action, strong characters, interesting storylines. I tend to gravitate to humor and action/suspense/paranormal on TV, much the same as I do in my reading. I love things that are a little off to the left, a bit unusual in both. I like being surprised. :)
Sam
Surprise....
...they might be getting divorced! I wonder how many people saw it coming. I didn't watch this show before two nights ago, so I don't know if it was obvious there was trouble brewing. But hey, eight kids. That's conflict!
my opinions
Well, when you have 8 kids somebody has to be in control - and that is Kate. If you've seen previous seasons, Jon pretty much doesn't do anything unless Kate tells him too. He walks around like he doesn't have a clue. There's always one parent in the household who has to discipline and appear to be the bad guy. The thing with Kate - she knows how controlling she is.
And if Jon wants out of the spotlight so bad - cancel the show. He quit his job two years ago to be with the kids. Uh huh. He wasn't around to plan their birthday party -he was out of town 'unexpectedly'. Plus this family has moved into at least 3, and bigger, houses since the show started. So why would Jon want to give that up? One thing in Kate's favor - on the most recent show each kid cleaned up after themselves after eating, so she must be doing something right.
And yeah - we want our romances to end happily after 300 pages or so. So maybe Jon and Kate haven't hit their 300 pages yet.
LOL
Had to chime in, though I haven't watched, and probably wouldn't, but this explanation, even more than Diana's is just horrifying to me! LOL Gawd, I wouldn't want to watch that on TV OR read it in a book -- it's so. . .like the stuff people complain about in real life! Ick!
I want fantasy and entertainment, not lazy husbands and watching kids clean up after themselves on TV. What IS the world coming to??? LOL
Sam
Page 223...
...the beginning of Act III, where it all comes together. That's a great metaphor for the show. They have their conflict, it's come to its climax, and now one of them has to choose love or else it won't be a love story, it'll be a tragedy.
I only watched one show, so I don't know the dynamic of the family except for that one show. But from what I saw there, it sure looks like Jon is going to bail out.
Kate plus eight? I dunno. It just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Sorry one more...
Just a tangent comment -- I also love to "fix" TV shows and figure out how they could have been better. So I loved your list. :)
Sam
LOL....By the way, in
LOL....By the way, in reference to #2. Apparently the hairdo is called the "Volcano". It explodes in the back and the hair in her face is the lava.
The lava....
That is hilarious, Tucco.
You just made my day. I can't wait to tell my kids that.
sam
yeah the show is a train wreck but I can't stop watching. The beginning seasons weren't so bad. Now fame has reared it's ugly head.
You want to see something else horrifying? Watch any of the 'Real Housewives' shows on Bravo.
Never
I have not watched the show. The bits and pieces I have seen about the show turn my stomach and I have NO desire to watch such people as entertainment. And if the story shown on the TV were made into a "romance" novel I wouldn't read it.
Exactly!
Just my point. I don't think anyone would. But ten million people watched it on TLC two nights ago. It's a miracle to sell even one million copies of a book....
Here's my new theory: it's easy to watch something morally distasteful for an hour, but too hard to sustain the bad taste through the three or more hours it takes to read a book....
Or maybe folks just like to watch cute kids. Most sure don't like to read about them. I know I don't.
Yikes
I haven't watched this yet, and now I'm a little sad hearing about it. I know that they've invited the world in to witness their lives, but sometimes I think that extra publicity really does a number on people. I hope they'll have an opportunity to talk away from the cameras and truly figure out what's best for their family and themselves.
As for TV vs. romance novels, the divide is one reason I tend to read more than I watch--I like the whole escaping-reality factor in most romances, and while the plots can be compelling in TV-land, there's often too much reality for me ;)
Well said.
Too much reality. I'm with you there, Fedora.
One other thing...
I'm SO glad not to be the subject of a reality show--I can be a terrible, horrible person/wife/mom at times, and I'm so glad that there's not a visual record for the rest of the world to examine at will. I don't know if it would help or hurt my behavior to have the camera on, but *whew*! on never having to find out :)
There's a lot of dynamics
There's a lot of dynamics here. I think Kate was a mother figure to Jon from the moment they met and I think he's acting like a kid because he's never functioned as an autonomous adult. He was 22 and she was 24 when they married and then they started having all those kids. I think he likes having a boss, because it gives him structure in his life and little to no responsibility, but I think he wants to cut loose, too, and his lifestyle doesn't allow it.
I have nothing against Jon/Blake. I think he is who he is, and I think Kate liked having a partner who would do whatever she wanted, yet be there for her and put up with her bossiness. And now they both have to deal with their choices.
Keep Fixing!
I love to fix shows or just individual scenes. I am not of the Jon and Kate show because she seemed like a nasty person and I got tired of her telling us about how things should be. Yes, with 8 kids, she needs to be a bit controlling to get stuff done. To me, she comes across as mean.
I was never an avid fan...
Some of those folks were scary. But when the twins would be up at 3 am, wanting to play, putting them on made me feel a lot better about my mayhem. Kate has no sugar to her. True, someone has to be the bad guy and Kate runs her kids with an organization I can only stand in awe over, but I never thought it required the brutal humiliation she puts her husband through.
I loved this post though, lol. You'd have to do a lot to Kate to make her a heroine. And to Jon, def, to make a hero. First step is reattaching those cajones, for sure. :)
Hee hee,
Dee (who is late, so sorry!)
Sorry
Ack! Another once good show ruined by the media. Well...it wasn't all the media's fault. Kate, as much as I love her organization skills with all those kids, she needs to let it go once in awhile. I understand not liking germs, but guess what? You have more than 2 kids. Germs happen and being a registered nurse she should be over the germ thing. They are not little soldiers for crying out loud. And quit bossing Jon/Blake around. These kids are going to remember Mom yelling at Dad all of the time because he can't do things like Kate. Shut up! I wanna shout at her. Poor Jon/Blake.
I actually feel sorry for him. Life is difficult without cameras around, I cannot imagine being filmed and 'on' everyday. I'd probably smash one or more of the cameras.
The show was great the first few years, really it was, but this year and last I could see that Kate was getting a bit um, for lack of a better word, selfish. She wants to give her kids all of the good healthy food-she likes to buy organic food=$$$, all of the trips, get the hair done, ect, and I don't blame her, but you know what? Go back to work. You have to consider Jon's feelings. The camera is getting old and can you imagine the poor guy goes to work and how embarrassed he is? Hey Jon, saw you getting demeaned by your wife.
I feel sorry for Jon and hope that he didn't do what they said. I don't condone it, but I don't blame him for needing more from a woman than getting yelled at all of the time.
Yeesh
They need to turn off the cameras and focus on their marriage and not their greed. Kate has become a media whore who liberally coats her actions with a veneer of "I'm doing this for my kids" when in fact, she's doing it for herself. She's admitted she wants to her own talk show and Jon has openly said he doesn't want the cameras around any more but she's refusing to let it go. Too much of anything is bad. They've been corrupted by greed, money, and ambition. Unfortunately, the kids are collateral damage.
It makes me sick. Even worse? Octomom just got her own show. Blech...
Seriously??
There's another show I'm never going to watch. Gag.
I die a little each time I
I die a little each time I watch the show :p.
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