It is quite by accident that I happen upon the most fabulous of books. Though perhaps not *quite* by accident. Considering where I happened to pick up a copy of this particular book I’ll be discussing: Sparticus. Now for those of you that don’t live in Portland, Oregon, Sparticus is a fabulous adult store with everything under the mattress a woman (or man) could ever need. Lingerie, books, wigs, paddles, nipple rings, condoms, you name it. They have it. And if they don’t, they know where to get it.

So I wandered in (after all, how can one simply walk by such a store and NOT go in?!) and after passing the pasties, purple and pink wigs, twenty inch heels with tip jars attached to the bottom (I kid you not), and all the other kinky goodies, I headed for my favorite section in the entire store. The book section. Honestly! A naughty writer needs naughty inspiration. So I spotted this fabulous reprint sitting on the shelf and simply fell in love with it. Because it captures an era that reflects times gone by in history. The book, How to Make Love, Secrets of Wooing from the 1930’swas the only thing I walked out with that day (well, actually, that’s not true, but I don’t intend to post what else I walked out with as every girl has a right to her privacy…ehm)

So here is a basic overview of the book and why you MUST get your hands on it:

*It is a man’s perspective on love. From the 1930’s. (Bwahaha)

*Defines love as an art that can and must be perfected. (Bwahahahahaha)

*There are so many great lines that will make every woman want to burn bras. And I quote, “Man was created strong. Woman was created weak. Therefore, it is up to the man to protect his woman. Woman is so physically constituted that she needs a man’s strong protection.” (Rolling eyes)

*A woman must always be passive. (Because?….)

*The secret to lasting love: Understanding. (Amen, brotha)

*Make sure that when you’re on the sofa and you want to “make your move” you do so in a manner so as to arrange that she is sitting against the arm of the sofa. So that she has no means of escaping. (Dude, that’s freakin’ rape, not advice)

*Oh, and THE BEST LINES EVER to help a guy out with a gal and I quote as I’m holding back a gasp of horrified laughter: “If she flinches, don’t worry. If she flinches and makes an outcry, don’t worry. If she flinches, makes and outcry and tries to get up off the sofa, don’t worry. Hold her, gently but firmly, and allay her fears with kind, reassuring words. Remember what Shakespeare said about “a woman’s no.” However, if she flinches, makes an outcry, a loud stentorian outcry, mind you, and starts to scratch your face, then start to worry and start to get yourself out of a bad situation.” (Now I KNOW that’s freakin’ rape, you jerks)

*Flatter a woman. (The oldest and dirtiest trick in the book)

* How to properly place one’s arm around a gal in the theatre. There is a right and a wrong way. The right way is to place your arm around her below the upper part of the chair so that no one will see you doing so. The improper way is to place your arm around her AND the seat for everyone to see and pulling her close.

*Love is entirely irrational and unless you understand that, you won’t ever understand love. (Um…that TOTALLY makes sense)

*Understand thyself. In turn, you will understand others. (This is actually damn good Dr. Phil stuff)

*Oh, and the best advice ever. Gentlemen. Do remember that 1+1=3. (I think men sometimes forget the basics of math and love)

Though I write historical romance, I have to say history itself gives this gal a real appreciation for living in the present…That said, if you love naughty history, and a good laugh that doesn’t involve forced seductions (like those stated above…), check out my latest release, Lord of Pleasure or my blog, that explores sex throughout history every first of the month, A Bit O’Muslin at www.DelilahMarvelle.blogspot.com

Cheers and much love,

Delilah Marvelle